Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize