There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
