JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
