Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
