I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I think i got beer on your cat.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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