I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
