all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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