Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
