I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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