I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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