Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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