My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
