the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
