I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
