I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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