ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
