Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
