need another drink. this is the easiest way
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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