We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize