none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
