Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
