You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
