she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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