so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
