Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
