you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
