Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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