Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
