this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
