I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize