is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to make out with him forever
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
