shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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