loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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