Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
