whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
