I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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