I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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