i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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