Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize