Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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