Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
