There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
