But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
