God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
