my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize