Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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