my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize