Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
