Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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