I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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