This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
