this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
