I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I could fuck to npr.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
