when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
