Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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