so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we made out on top of his cat.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
