Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize