She's JV to your varsity
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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