It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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