Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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